My walls are closing in
Sunday, February 21, 2010
I am alone. Alone
here and alone in the world. Alone in my heart and alone in my mind. Alone
everywhere, all the time, for as long as I can remember. Alone with my Family,
alone with my friends, alone in a Room full of People. Alone when I wake, alone
through each awful day, alone when I finally meet the blackness. I am alone in
my horror. Alone in my horror. I don't want to be alone. I have never wanted to
be alone. I fucking hate it. I hate that I have no one to talk to, I hate that I have
no one to call, I hate that I have no one to hold my hand, hug me, tell me
everything is going to be alright. I hate that I have no one to share my hopes
and dreams with, I hate that I no longer have any hopes or dreams, I hate
that I have no one to tell me to hold on, that I can find them again. I hate that
when I scream, and I scream a bloody murder, that I am screaming into emptiness.