heroine.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

It was calling out my name.
It was calling out my name.
I was going crazy.
It would not stop disturbing me.
It was everywhere.
Everywhere I look, it's right there.
I was shivering like mad.
The rain made it worse.
I couldn't stop shaking.
I couldn't stop crying.
Why must I have the ability to see those things.?
I was scared that the thing would do something bad.
When Ke Xin fainted, I panicked.
I thought something was gonna happen.
That was when I heard them calling out to me.
And I didn't know why but I felt like standing up and walking towards it.
So, I covered my ears and ignored.
Ilina and Isabella and the rest were trying to comfort me. (thank you for that (: )
But it didn't stop.
When Mr Sufyan came, I was covering my ears and shaking.
He asked Karyss and Yulikha to send me home.
But I called my parents and they picked me up.
I thought it was over but it followed me.
Even older sis and Mom felt it.
The rest can't see but they felt a presence there.
It was so bad.

I'm breaking apart.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

So many things have been going on lately.

As in BAD STUFF.

Rumours and fights and so on.

When is this gonna end?

I suddenly cried this morning while talking to Fai.

Sheesh.

Oh and I want to make this clear...

THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN ME AND FAIZAL.

Our relationship is PLATONIC.

Alright?

Get it straight into your bloody thick skulls.

i tried but i keep failing.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

James looks so different.

He looks uhm, hotter?

Lols.

Miss them all so much.

I have just cut my hair and I look FUGLY. I swear.!

UPDATES.! YEY.!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Hello world.!
It's been a week since I've blogged.

Have been busy with stuff.

There is so much that I need to update. :x

But I can't really remember what exactly happened.

So, I'm sorry if I missed a few things out.

Alright.

I shall start with Saturday and Sunday(:

Saturday, 17 October 2009 & Sunday, 18 October 2009

Alright.

Went to Malacca with family and Grandparents.

Had a great time.

Told Sis about some stuff.

And she gave me advice.

Ilysm.!

Got back on Sunday afternoon.

Monday, 19 October 2009

There was no school.

So, I texted a few people and asked them out.

But then only one could go.

And that was Fiqqah(L).

We met at Tampines Mall Macs at twelve plus.

After that we took the train to Bugis.

Went to Bugis street and went shopping.!

I bought a bag and two shirts.

Fiqqah bought a cardigan or something and a shirt.

Shopped for a few hours and then we went to Iluma.

It was the first time we stepped in there.

Went to the fifth floor(i think) and chose a movie to watch.

In the end we chose to watch the meatball thing.

After buying the tickets we straight away went to the our hall as the movie was starting.

The movie was pretty okay. I guess.

After the movie, Fiqqah and me went to the door and wanted to go out.

Fiqqah tried pushing the door and it did not open.

So, we waited there for bloody five minutes and then I tried pushing the door and it swung open.

We got out at started laughing.

Haha.

Then we reached the escalator and Fiqqah and her stupidity went to the escalator which is going

up and the staff was looking at her weirdly and told her that it was the other side.

I was laughing my head off.

Fiqqah made my day. (:

After that, we went to level 7 "sky" and camwhored there.

And then..... A cute guy came and asked one of us to help him take a picture.

I was the one who helped him as Fiqqah was standing there staring at him.

And then we camwhored again and went off to Bugis Junction(?) again.

Walked around for awhile and then we went off.

She went back to Pasir Ris while I took the train to Orchard.

Met family there and went to ION Orchard.

I bought a pair of jeans and then we walked for an hour or so and then we went home.

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Went back to school.

I've forgotten what happened already. :x

After school had physical training.

It was tiring.

My body was aching.

Got home and slept.

Woke up, bathed ate dinner and slept.

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

Went to school did the usual and it was Yulikha's birthday.

After school, we went to Safra Tampines to play bowling.

It was fun to the max.

My first time playing bowling.

I swear I sucked to the core.

Yulikha kept taking a ball and rolling it when it isn't her turn.

Hahaha.

Disturb people only that girl.

I managed to get 60 points in the end.

I quickly went home when the game ended as Dad called and told me that we were going JB.

So, took bus home and then went out again.

Picked up Mom and went JB.

I was sleeping in the car.

Got to our destination and I woke up.

Had dinner, shopped and went to Kak Wan's house.

After that we returned to Singapore at around eleven plus.

Got home, showered and slept.

Thursday, 22 October 2009

Had homeroom and the usual.

I'll skip to after school.

I was with Filza, Wen Zhen and Karyss.

After that we changed and then we went to the passageway.

Sat there till Mr Leong and the others to come.

After that, we went to the field and had physical training.

I found it less tiring. I don't know why.

After physical we had training.

Coach didn't come so Hamkah(?) took over.

I was cursing and swearing at someone as he made me pissed off to the max.

Then, Faizal came.

After he came, Syahmie(sp?), Asyraaf(sp?) and another guy came to give me the pants.

And then something funny happened.

Syamie said something that made me want to laugh my head.

Okay. I shall not elaborate any further.

Training finished at six.

Faizal waited for me to pack my stuff and then we went to White Sands.

He followed me to Watsons as I had to buy something for Sis.

After that we bused home.

He took 359 I think.

I reached home around seven.

Ate, showered and then went to sleep.

Friday, 23 October 2009

Atiqah A's birthday today.

Went to school did the usual.

But something happened during recess.

It made me laugh and cry.

LOL much?

I felt scared and miserable afterwards.

Anws, after school went to passageway to take the flyers.

Paired up with Feeqah and we wanted to finish the whole batch of flyers so we quickly went to the assigned block and level and gave out the flyers.

At first we didn't realise that we went to the wrong block.

It was super funny.

After all that I went to Macs to meet the rest and then went back home.

Went out, had dinner, went Expo and then home.

Alright.

It's such a long post.

Pictures will be updated as soon as I have found the cable for the camera(:

Loves.!
Aisyah.

It hurts everytime I hear your name.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Kakak, I love you.

So, sorry isn't enough?

What am I supposed to do if that isn't enough?

And what did you mean by "You may never know.!"?

Are you trying to say that I'm treating you like a temporary friend?

I thought you would understand.

I thought you would at least ask.

I thought you could help.

I don't know if I'm wrong.

You didn't even realise that I was hurting so much.

I held back my tears and walked away before letting them flow freely.

I don't even know who to trust.

I don't even know who my friends are.

I don't even know who I really am.

And I don't know why I'm doing this.

Why am I always to be blamed?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOOR ADILA.!

Alright.

I was so happy the whole day in school(:

After school that was when everything started to turn bad.

Oh wells.

Whatever.

luvs.

I vowed that I will never cry again

But I couldn't hold back my tears anymore.

14 sucks.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Έχω φωνάξει μη τη στάση.

Δεν είναι όπως σας προσοχή οπωσδήποτε.

Γιατί πρέπει να κάνετε πάντα αυτό σε με?

Δεν μπορείτε να δείτε ότι είμαι στον πόνο?

Γιατί ήταν το Ι ομαλό αρκετά ηλίθιος να πέσει για σας?

Τα δάκρυα κρατούν να κυλήσουν κάτω τη στάση μάγουλών μου μη.

Και είναι όλο λόγω σας άλλη μια φορά.

Πρόκειται να επιλεχτώ επάνω και να προσπαθήσω να πω αντίο.

Have fun trying to figure out what I'm trying to say.

Anws, it's Greek.

σας αγαπώ. Και ίσως όχι άλλα.

ALEX PETTYFER

ALEX PETTYFER IS SO HOT.! *MELTS*

hurting so bad.

Today is the Fourteenth.

And some of you know may know what it means.

And it's hurting so bad.

)':

http://th-unforgettable-memories.tumblr.com

TAG ME THERE AND HERE, OKAY?

And tell me if you have Tumblr(:

Luvs.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

http://www.documentingreality.com/forum/f10/some-emo-girl-needs-serious-help-11192/

To those who slash and cut.

PLEASE STOP CUTTING YOURSELF CAUSE YOU MAY BECOME LIKE THIS.

The pictures are gruesome and bloody.

SO DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK IF YOU ARE QUEASY ABOUT THIS THINGS.

She cuts herself. As in REALLY CUTS HERSELF. SHE CUTS THE MEAT AND YOU CAN SEE THE INSIDE.!

After that she STITCHES HERSELF BACK UP.

Anws, this was in 2006.

I don't know if the girl is still alive.

Love(:

Monday, October 12, 2009

I love, love, love, love, love, love and never ending love Tumblr(:
Yes, I love Tumblr more than you, Blogger. :P

My wants.

Supersamplers, Lomo Cameras, Diana Mini Cameras, Fish Eye Cameras, Lubitel Cameras, Actionsamplers and all sorts of vintage and modern cameras are LOVED to the max by me.

I would love to get all of them. Especially the vintage cameras.

(Greedy much? Haha)
I've been wanting them for sooooo long.

Anyone wants to buy one for me?

I'll love you to bitszxszcxsz(:

Luvs.

Everything's gonna be alright.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Saturday, 10 October 2009

Went to Batam to shop.

It was a loooooong day.

Lazy to blog about it(:

But I was happy the whole day.!
I love my Mommy and Daddy.!

Sunday, 11 October 2009

Went out for lunch at Bedok North.

After that we went to grandma's house to give her something.

Then, older sis and me asked Dad to drop us off at Peninsula.

Went there to find a guitar(:
Dropped off at Penin and then went to Funan and met the guys.

They were my Sis friends.

And something weird happened at Macs.

I shall not elaborate.

After that we went to Penin again.

Ryan was helping us find the right guitar.

And Rohit was being funny to the max.

(I suddenly feel so lazy to blog.. pfft... I shall skip to the part till we found the guitar)
I was so happy when we found the guitar(:

Well, alright. I'm lazy to blog and I needa study.

Luvs.

Bullets did not kill me,

But my stupidity did.

I Put On My Best Disguise But It Is Tearing Me Apart

Boy,pleasetellmehowyoureallyfeelcauseI'vehadenoughwiththissilence.It'stearingmeapart.Boy,youknow

thatIloveso.Pleasebreakthesilenceandtellmeifyoufeelthesameway.Boy,yousaidyou'remyHeroandyou'll

alwayssaveme.ArethesejustemptywordswithnomeaningPleasetellmethatitisn't.Boy,Imissyou.

xoxo

Boy, if you're reading this, please tell me..

Friday, October 9, 2009

I was nearly in tears during the last period.

I've finally told Ke Xin about it.

She's the only one who knows it besides Sach.

Love you guys.

I don't think I'm gonna blog today.

Luvs.

I'm still awake.
WIDE AWAKE.

Older sis is still up(:

I shall tell you READERS what about yesterday, yeah. (It's 12.30 am already eyhh)

First period was Lit.

I was being damn attentive and taking notes down. o:

(:
Next was Physics.

Did the questions anyhow.

Recess, then MT.

Did filing and corrections.

Then it was.... Maths.
And then, English.

Alright.

After school, Ilina, Fareesa and me went to White Sands because Fareesa wanted to buy some stuff at Aries and Ilina wanted to get something.

After shopping, we went to the park and then 7-11(It's a store and more.!) and then went to the end of the interchange.

Sat there for awhile.

We were bullying Fareesa(:

Hahaha.

Then, Fareesa wanted to go home cause she wanted to eat.

So, it was just me and Ilina.

We had heart to heart talks.

Love you, Google(:

Then, we decided to go off as I had to take my EzLink card from the ticket office(?).

Ilina went to take 359 while I continued walking to the other end of the interchange.

Took my EzLink and then walked towards number 3 as I missed 17 and 358.

On the way there, I heard someone calling my name and I looked and saw that it was

MARYAM SAJIDAH.!
I miss her to the max, kay.

She was at the bus number 6 line.

Then, she took 3 home with me(:
Aww... Babe, MUST LEPAK TOGETHER SOON.!

So, yeah.

I got home and was alone and stuff.

And it was the touch of the imperfect upon the would-be perfect that gave the sweetness, because it was that which gave the humanity.
-Tess of the D'Urbervilles

It's the way you see it.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

I just have no mood to blog.

Pffft...

But I'm happy that I met MARYAM SAJIDAH just now.!

Siti Nazurah

Thanks for the kata-kata pendorong(malay power?)

"TO WORK FOR FREEDOM"

(:
Love you lots, Psychiatrist(:

xoxo

ISZY
It's the way how you see life that makes you

who you are.

Change your perspective of life.

Remember what you told me... "It can't possibly rain forever".

Believe in it and be strong.

ILY.

xoxo

Alright.

I'm off.

Luvs.

My mind has gone mad, like an impetuous fire.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

School was okay I guess.
Fareesa didn't come.
Haha.
Nothing much to talk about school.
I don't even have the mood to talk about after school.
Anyways, Mom has been discharged.
Luvs.

It's over.

He treated me like crap, but

everytime he says 'I Love You',

I will fall for it all over again.

This would be the last time that

he is gonna toy with my feelings.

I'll miss him so much but it's

time to move on.

Boy, please let this be our last goodbye..

What am I to do when my heart has broke into two?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Faizal and me sent Fareesa home after school.

After that he sent me home.

Thanks, eh.

Was alone at home for an hour.

Then, older sis came home.

-skip-

Okay.

I'm feeling so tired.

ISZY/Google(L)

Thanks for the letter.

I wanted to cry when I read it.

I can't put to words what I'm thinking right now.

You've finally made me realise that there is no point waiting.

Loves.

(L)

Monday, October 5, 2009

Empty promises is all I get.

So much for "I will always be here for you when you're down.".

You expect me to believe that crap again?

Hell, no I won't.

So, tell me who is the one that has changed?

You are slowly drifting away.

Oh, no, wait. You have already drifted away. Far, far away.

I tried to trust you after that incident but you seem to not care if I do or not.

So, why should I bother trusting you again?

It's not like you're going to need my trust anymore.

Everytime we fight, you will always come to me crying and say that I've shed tears for you and whatsoever crap.

I'm not going to believe it this time.

'Cause I've had enough.

I've changed my blogskin(:

Today was great(:

Thanks to Fareesa and her stupidity/slowness and stuff.

I was feeling miserable in the morning.

First period was bio.

I sat at Fareesa's place.

I was damn attentive for the whole lesson(:

After bio was recess.!

Told Fareesa what happened that time and the day I broke down and cried non-stop.

Thanks yeah, Fareesa.

I shall skip to after school.

Fareesa and me waited for Faizal as Fareesa wanted to go bowling.

After 15 minutes or so, we got bored so we went out of school and went to the usual place.

And then, we went to the minimart and decided to wait for Fai at the block we lepak on Thursday.

Before we even reach the minimart it started to rain HEAVILY.

We played in the rain(:

After buying our stuff, we went to the block.

I ate my CRUNCHIE and GOBSTOPPER and was listening to music while waiting for Fai.

Izzat, Shafiq, Khairul and a few other people were there.

Then, Fai came with Liyana.

And soon after more people came.

The same people that we lepak with that time.

Then it became kecoh.

Fai was disturbing everybody.

Haha.

But I managed to slap his face a few times. ^^

Me and Fareesa lepak for awhile and then at 1530 like that we both went off and

her plan to go bowling was cancelled.

On the way home, she was betting with me that she could get home in 4 minutes.

And she lost the bet.

HAH. SUCKA. (:

After that I was walking alone and stuff.

And now I'm here. Alone at home(:

Dad just called and said that Mom has been hospitalized. )':

And Dad will probably be home late.

I shall make full use of the time alone at home(:
It will be used to watch Romeo&Juliet again.

Okay.

Nothing much to update about.

Luvs.

A rose will bloom;

It then will fade..

Saturday, October 3, 2009

I have been watching movies all day.

I have not even touched any of my homework.

Hahs.

Parents and younger brother are not in town.

They balik kampung.

Yeahs.

FREE from naggings for today and tomorrow.

Kayhs.

Currently chatting w my chat buddy, Nazheef(:

And watching a movie.

Nothing much to update about actually.

So,

see you guys in the next post(:

luvs.

frus siak gini.

Friday, October 2, 2009

I LOVE _______ FOR HELPING ME FIND THE ALBUM 'DEAR AGONY' BY BREAKING BENJAMIN.!
THANK YOU SO MUCH, _______.!
I OWE YOU.!

hahaha.

I WANT TO BUY THE ALBUM 'DEAR AGONY' BY BREAKING BENJAMIN.!

Okay.

Amirah, Syazwani, Khai, Amirul and Hasif are at my place for raya.

They're all my kakak's friend.

Hahs.

I just watched a vid in Youtube about a person having Tourette Syndrome.

It was so sad lahh.

You should watch it.

Just type in "tourette syndrome" and click on the first vid.

I'm starting to believe the sentence "Everyone is a fake.".

I can't seem to trust anyone right now.

fuck.